My Testimony:
With
Thanksgiving Day just a few days away, I been thinking it’s easy to give thanks
in the best of times; but what about in the worst of times? I will never forget three statements that
were made during some of the worst times of my life.
1.
“Lela,
I am so sorry. We did ever thing we
could. Your baby is dead.”
2.
“Lela,
you need surgery. Without it you will
die a slow horrible death.”
3.
“Wilbur,
there is nothing more we can do.
Eventually, you will lose your sight.”
50
years ago, I left the hospital with empty arms and a broken heart. My dreams of being a mom had been
shattered. Wilbur’s and my baby girl
whom we named Jessica had been still born.
For three years I struggled with our loss and questioned if God was a
God of love, why had this happened to me?
I had a hard time believing He loved me.
When
I was told that I needed surgery, I was at death’s door. Knowing there was the possibility I might not
make it, I was very apprehensive. I was
in so much pain I was unable to pray; but others were praying for me. On my way to the OR, God gave me peace and I
knew no matter what happened everything would be OK.
In October of 2003, I found myself in the hospital with the same pain I had experienced in 1995 when I had my surgery. It was over the anniversary of when I had lost Jessica. I was in the same hospital, on the same floor and just a few rooms from the room where I had experience such heartbreak. My thoughts turned to Jessica and I wept.
In January 2004 Wilbur experienced a detached retina in his right eye and had to have surgery. He had already lost his sight in his left eye. It was during follow-up visits that he told he will eventfully lose his sight.
In Romans 8:28 we read, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” So what has been the good from what I have gone though?
Three years after the loss of Jessica, God whispered to my spirit. He said, “Lela, I love you. If you were the only person living, I would have still sent my son to die for you. I had my reasons for taking Jessica. You must give her to me.” From deep within my heart I relied, “OK, God. I give her to you.” A deep peace came over me and nine months later, exactly nine months later, my daughter Melissa was born. Twenty-two months later, Amy was born. Recently Melissa asked me, “Mom, would you have had me if Jessica had lived? She told me she is so glad I had her. She loves her life and her family. Once when Wilbur was in the hospital, I met one of his caregivers. I learned she had been my hospital roommate when I had loss Jessica. I had the joy of sharing with her the Good News of Jesus Christ and how God had blessed me with my daughters and granddaughters
While I was in the hospital in October of 2003, as I wept thinking about Jessica, God showed me a vision. Jesus was facing me, His arms open wide. I ran to Him and He wrapped His arms around me. I felt such love and I knew that He loved me. God was preparing me for the days ahead as Wilbur dealt with his vision loss. To help him, I took him for car rides and took photos of awesome scenery. I have made hundreds of cards from those photos. What a joy it is to give those cards to others. Here is a copy of one of those cards original size 2x3.5. (below) Little did I know when I started making the cards that during a pandemic the encouragement they would bring to others. My surgeon summed it up when I gave her a copy of this card, “Thank you. This is what we truly need.” I wonder if I would have started making my cards if Wilbur hadn’t experienced the deterioration of his sight.
“Yes,
I have learned to thank God in the worst of times. He was with me thought all of them and has
given me great joy!
